18 x 18

It's almost time to add one to the yearly stats, and boy.
How drastically things have changed. Drastic.

My teething process has been permanently marred by a terrible cavity.
I still have teeth, just that I will never be able to chew the same again.

Alright enough of encrypts.

I'M GOING TO THAILAND!!
-hops and skips around-
We're gonna have soooo much fun. :D

School's The semester almost done with, praise the Lord.

i think its you again.

Remind

Luke 6
Love your enemies.
Do good to those who hate you,
Bless those who curse you;
pray for those who mistreat you.
If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.

It just keeps adding on.

I wonder how much longer I can last this out.
I really can't do this on my own.

Abba Father, only with Your strength..

Today was the first major test after 5 months.
I thought I'd passed -

then I failed.


Why?




Because I still care.

STRESS

The pace is at its peak.











We are Hyde and Jekyll, your very own Sub-editors for The Scribe.















Hyde: Your article sucked!
Jekyll: Your article sucked well!
(I'm just joking lah.)











Enough of the two of us.. I think we haven't been breathing heavily enough down our reporters' necks though.






Editor: YEAH LAH!

If you still don't hurry, I'll cut you up and eat you like this cake!














Designer: Nghh. I'm thinking of ways to design the newspaper. Don't disturb me!


(Yah right.)














Warning: If you hate me, keep scrolling.






















I think I look better like this.

No?

- WHINE -

YES! I whined!

They didn't want to let me see the unglam shots.
MUAHAHAHA.

Who ask you to hate meeee!
(now look at the picture again)








Okay lah. Like that better?





Eyebags are the bane of the society.


And so is that mound of flesh below them which has two hollow cones that houses ultra-sensitive-sensory-feelers.

WARNING: IF YOU HATE ME, DON'T SCROLL.
(I'm serious this time. For your own good, I implore ye. Don't. Scroll.)

*~^WaH sEh WaH SeH siIAxZX! sKoOl rOxXx euu` 4eVa wOrRrZz~*~*!~!*~^

I told you not to already right.
No one's looking forward to the next semester.

And no one shall.

Friends

Proverbs 17:17
¹⁷ A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.

In a lifetime we come across many people. They start from being acquaintences, then some of which become for the keeping - or what we call, 'friends'.

Most of the people I've met were pretty much acquaintences, and still are. I smile, say hi, strike up a brief conversation, yet I never know them better than their first names and looks. Sometimes, I 'know' them from what I gather from others, which sadly, isn't a good thing most of the time.

But I'd rather not take part in dissing people for something they didn't do wrong.

For a while then, I wondered why I had a lack of friends. Everyone around me either had a significant other or someone to tag along with, someone who'll go shopping with them every weekend, someone who will ask them along for parties or lunches for no rhyme or reason. Someone who remembered them for activities.

My closest friends were not my age nor in my school. Some of these friendships have been painfully destroyed, and the current ones were busy with their hectic tertiary life. I thought I was going to be alone, emotionally.

I'm not the kind who'd go up and force people to listen to my woes as and when I want, or drag them to go out with me just because. To me, sms-ing and MSN-ing woes are useless, though these two mediums are most convenient. Then I'd lament that I had a terrible lack of social life. But after reflecting upon the year's not-so-little events and lessons, I realise that this 'lack' actually showed me that I have more true friends than I initially thought.

It was emotional friends that mattered more, not physical friends.

They are not the ones who look for you day and night nor the ones that have you at their beck and call. Not those whom you talk to so often yet realise that all you talk about are superficial subjects and most of the time, about others. There may be a chat about deeper issues once a while, but does that define 'for the keeping'?

How safe do you feel your secrets are with them?

It is surprising that in the 'superficial' world of mass communications, I managed to find a very small (yet as real as can be) number for the keeping.

True friends are the ones who understand the meaning behind the slightest change in the temperature of your voice, the twitch of your eyebrow, the stride of your step and more. All these without having to see you every day.

It's the respect, the silent support and prayers they give; only honest words which are edifying will come out from their mouths. They show genuine care and encouragement, treat you with love and sincerity which makes you feel at simple ease with yourself, no matter how flawed a person you know you are.

It is hard to be able to find a fixed definition of a 'friend' as it is already, what more call them 'best' or 'closest'. But here's my take.

Friends love you for you, and ask no more in return except for your friendship. And what that comes with real friendship is more beautiful than what beautifies the friendship. You become a stronger person morally, intellectually and most importantly for Christians, spiritually.

Call me a prude, but God still comes first. And I need to keep reminding myself that.


I am not a physically affectionate person, much less in the literary sense. Even when my little sister wants to kiss me (which she unfortunately tries once too often), I cower and turn away from her.

So here, I apologise if I have been an insensitive and sub-standard friend.

But I also want my friends to know that no matter how busy they are, or how lousy a person or friend I may be, that -

I love each of you. A lot.

1 Corinthians 13:1 - 8
"¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

^8aLove never fails.

Cripes

If only I were...

I would finish all my work before you can say 'WonderBeni', and be off 800 feet into the sky and lazing about on clouds.

I absolutely abhor anything runny, especially that coming from my nose.
Does Wonderwoman ever have the flu?

The things to look forward to this week:

1. Jamming with S.i.R tomorrow! Wheehee.
2. Jamming with the youth band at Pris'. We have 2 fantastic, original Christian songs (kudos to Christina) for Music Sunday on October 16. (:
3. The end of creative journal and PR case study.

God and music are the only ones keeping me alive now.


Ever wondered who in Hollywood are anti-Christ? Click.


My mom just called and asked if "you want tao huay (soya beancurd)". Reminds me of a certain local band's song.. HAHA.
On another note, should 'soya beancurd' be 'soyabean curd' or the former? Or should it, technically, be 'soyabean beancurd'?


Alright I shall go do PR lah.

HELP

I'm sick.
My head is whoozy, my nose is driving me crazy. I think it has bits of dried blood in it now (nostrils, not head).

Man, all the stress, late nights, irregular sleep and meals are taking its toll on me. Boohoo. My nightly pill-meal of calcium/ginko/anti-oxidant/vitamin Cs must have escaped my bloodstream via my pee. -__- What would I give for the semester to end. ):

The MSC celebrated XB's 18th in the weirdest fashion. It was an unforgettable Friday night with dinner at Al Ameen (though we do hope some people will forget us), and after realising that all the pool palours were packed, we went... to play CS at my dad's lan shop. Knife fights pwn j00, hahaha. It was Eve's maiden CS game, and the complete-silence-to-sudden-shrieks were simply darned amusing. (: Yes lah, I'm a closet underaged-|cY`bEnG wOrXx~

Saturday was killer-day.

After we had the green light to leave the AIDS convention early, WebD brought us to town to do photoshoots and video Parkour. I wouldn't hestitate to do Parkour if not for my spent ligaments and limbs, sigh. I miss climbing up basketball posts with ease and watching my teachers' chagrin from a comfortable 9 feet above the ground. Juan managed to do a wall run, good for him! Ha.

Marche after that with Adeline and Val was great, though it ended abruptly when Ade's emptied glass exploded all of a sudden. It LITERALLY exploded, I promise! It was traumatising, yet Marche didn't give us any compensation for the shock. Ha. The manager threw one nonchalant look at the glass, and casually said that "it happens". We were like, what?!

One of the shards actually flew into my buttcrack (don't ask me how - Val had one in her um, other crack, too) but I didn't realise it until I was almost home. Eek. The glass wasn't sharp, so thank God my butt's still in one, I mean two, pieces.

The AIDS convention in the morning was a terrible affair with my nose gone wrong. My brother said he saw me on the news with my face buried in tissue paper as the newscaster spoke about 'youths and AIDS'. He then pulled out a needle (and 10 of them after that) from his medic army pack which had the diameter of a Yakult straw and announced that I was in dire need of a blood test. Nghh.

My wonderful mom rescued me from his clutches (though my sister for once willingly stayed put in the room to study for her PSLE after threats of blood transfusions) and drove me to Ade's place, where we continued with WebD through the night... Till the four of us crashed at 2.45am.

Ugh. I cannot take it already. I'm going back to sleep.

Many Thanks To

Adeline/Jules/Nurul/Kailin/Syasya/Juan/XB/Liz of Y.F.B & Schnortz and all the storeholders/friends who have so kindly set up stalls/been a source of entertainment.

Especially Adeline and Jules, who risked a lot of sleep, sweat and blood.

The Flea Avenue / All American Affair was pretty much a success, though I felt that I effectively wasted a whole day not doing anything productive (read: WebD/NewsWriting/PR).

Mass Comm, Mass Comm. What hast thou doest to us!?

Then again, I've never regretted my decision to join MCM. It has encouraged me to think in ways I never had, pushed me to write better and be more confident speaking in front of audiences.


Oh yeah, lesson of the day: Stay till the end of flea markets with food, because you get to finish up the leftovers for free. Or should I say, eat as much beef stew soup/clam chowder, Ben&Jerry's Chunky Monkey/New York Super FC/Chocolate Fudge Brownie/ Coffee for a Change as I want for free :D

Took a nap when I came home, but I am still so exhausted after last night's sub-editing marathon.
Subbing is fun, though I prefer subbing on hardcopy like a teacher. Somehow it seems easier to have a good overview if I can read all at once.

Deadlines are in less than 2 weeks.

I feel so drained.


Random thought: The Nissan Fairlady350Z's engine purr downstairs is too sexy. It's lulling me to sleep.

Another random thought: Both my achilles' tendons/ankle areas are painful/aching with all the stress put on them today. UGH. I feel like chopping my ankles off. And my head. ACHE.

ALL-AMERICAN FAIR @ CONVENTION BASEMENT TOMRROW!!
MUST MUST MUST DIE DIE DIE COME DOWN!!

THERE'LL BE BEN&JERRY'S. AIN'T THAT GOOD ENOUGH?!

So sue me.

Note: NO cake or human beings whatsoever were harmed in the actual scripting of the story.
Pardon the magazine, we all already know the answer.

To

the brother who is tired and stressed:
God will carry you through, but have you commited your cares to Him first?
He's the Creator of ALL things, newspapers included ;)

B.U.S.Y = Being Under Satan's Yoke.

Let's remind ourselves to not put God on the shelf no matter how busy we are!

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these will be given to you as well."
- Matthew 6:33

Press on, my dear bro!

Casting Crowns - Who Am I
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapour in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord You catch me when I'm falling
Yet You told me who I am

I am Yours...

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are


We are His, and He will be there to catch us! Amen!


the sister feeling really low:
Let go, my dear. It sucks big time not having been there for you and not knowing all that's going on until I hear from others. It sucks bigger time that you are so painful in this.

Forget about what he'll feel. Think about how YOU will feel. He's not worth anything at all. AT ALL.



Sigh.

Schmuvie

Yes, Beni the Movie-Deprived has watched her 3rd in-cinema movie of the year last night!

Here's the list of in-cinema movies I've ever watched:

1. The Lost World (1997, with family)
2. Money No Enough (1998)
3. James Bond: The World is Not Enough (1999)
   
4. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)
5. Lord of the Rings 2, 3 (2001, 2003)
6. 2Fast 2Furious (2002)
7. Torque (2003)
   
8. Big Fish (2003)
9. X-Men 2 (2003)Van Helsing (2004)
10. Ocean's Twelve (2004)
11. Elektra (2005)
12. Coach Carter (2005)
    

Yup, that's about it - if I don't remember wrongly. Hey stop smirking.

It's not that bad. More than 10 leh. At least an average of 2 a year what.

I'm going to quit whining about not watching the movie. Or any movie, for that matter. Wah lau I didn't even watch Initial D lor!! Ok shut up, Beni.

So the 3rd milestone goes to......... -DRUMROLL-

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY!!!

The movie was fantastically entertaining. It felt nothing like the supposed 120 minutes. There was no dragging of the opening, great pace throughout, slightly cheesy ending though. Funny how reading the book and watching it being played out felt starkly different. Not that the movie was not accurate at all, but the materialisation of the book actually revealed a subtly evil and violent children's book. The literary text seemed purely enjoyable, but visually it was a tad disturbing, I must say. Especially Johnny Depp's portrayal of Willy Wonka.

The movie belonged to Tim Burton, ultimately. I fell in love with his imagination ever since Big Fish (not Planet of the Apes).


Here's my Hall of Fame for the movie.

Most Irritating: Violet Beauregarde...'s Mom

It was the matching mom-and-daughter jackets that did it for me lah. But look at those eyes... Those EYES. That permanent, plastic expression on her face and her gait beat the bratty-ness out of Veruca Salt and the overachievements of her very own snob of a daughter.

Famous Quote: "Violet, you've turned.. VIOLET!"



Most Underdeveloped: Grandpa Joe

And make that literally, too. Grandpa Joe had barely 10 lines of script, unlike his fiesty portrayal in the book. Tim Burton may have felt like there was too little time for too much, the usual red herring in screen adaptations.
I think I liked good ol' senile Grandma Georgina more.

Famous Quote: "Yippppieee!!" -Chicken dance-


Most Versatile: Oompa-Loompa(s)

Most likely inspired by the Xelibri commercials (can anyone tell me where the brand has disappeared to?), the concept has probably saved tons on extras and given Deep Roy the most demanding role in the movie to play.

Imagine having to wear weird clothes, do all those silly actions and portray all kinds of funny whatnots without allowing more than a twitch of an eyebrow on his face. Great stuff!

Famous Quote: All the Oompa Loompa songs


Most Underdog-gish: Mike Teevee

I think he had the most entertainment (pardon the pun) value amongst the 5 kids, but too little screen (pardon the pun again) time for flair.

Famous Quote: "Willy Wonka's an Idiot!"


Most Innocently Annoying (or Annoyingly Innocent, either way counts):
Charlie Basket Bucket

Too innocent, I cannot take it ah. It got very annoying when the camera decided that its favourite pastime was to take close up reaction shots of Charlie whenever he gapes in wide-eyed wonder.

That 'trademark' grin started to lose its teeth amongst the blades of sugar grass after it filled the screen once too many. Hawhaw.

Famous Quote: -Insert saccharine grin here-


and finally...



Most Good Looking (I just had to be honest with my hormones), Talented, Cheesy and Bitchy

Who else? :D

Alright, so I was the first one to laugh (albeit a little too loudly) when he talked about his 'hair'. Uh, yeah.

Johnny Depp is hauntingly good-looking. And he always pulls off the weirdest of oddball roles. Respect.

Famous Quote: "EEW."


So what's my next movie................? -wonders-

My laptop has been repaired,
but the keyboard was still not working perfectly.
So I hit the keyboard as hard as I dared,
and yes! It started functioning normally.

I AM SO TIRED.

edited, 1123:
It's not as 'normal' as I hoped it'd be. This morning it seemed spoilt again, and I unscrewed the keyboard to realise that it's still not okay after all. And now it's working again. It's playing trix4j00. NGHH.

Kids These Days

In case you are wondering how differently the younger generations think, here are some of the Msn nicks I siphoned off my 12-year-old sister's MSN. I wasn't being a spy - she left her account logged on when I started using, so there.

Here's the top 10 list:

10. lIfE iS uNFAiR 4 A KiD (insert dog icon here)
me: wait till he grows up and realises that life's unfair to everyone.

9. joe wei: "spanky says tat his laptop needs a smash, plz donayte brass knuks, canes or sledgehammers !!!"
me: woah, too much gaming for this kid.

8. three words but only ` one meaning x ilu .brokensmile.
me: um, this is a boy's nick.

7. iNjeCtIon wAs FUn
me: erm, whee.

6. (insert japanese characters here) endless rain fall on my heart let me forget...all of the hate...all of the sadness
me: so emo siaaaa. -sniffles-

5. ~*#The question is whether you are going to give a big hearty YES!To adventure.#*~
me: finally, a non-angsty kid!

4. you are the first last & the onli 1 (insert lips icon here)
me: yeah right. he'll become a monk next time if he wants to start this early.

3. Stress...stress...stress,why so much stress one?
me: omgourd! he knows what i'm thinking!

2. Each time that you call- I swore not to come' But I'm here after all*
me: o_O


andddd finally.........


1. EVARI 1 EXCEPT DERRICK JUZ F*** OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 DERRICK WILL WIN REMEMER TO VOTE 4 HIM TO NIGHT HE IS M3
me: get that girl a beer. no, get her a tiger. or tigress.

Prop

Don't really feel like blogging, so I don't know what I am doing here. Oh yeah. Birthday...uh,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!


QIHENG (18)!!
(That's my childhood friend. Gotcha!)

Okay lah, spare the cheap jokes. Today's National Day was spent at Border's Coffee Bean with the 4th Estate (my newswriting group) discussing our newspaper over quiches and a cookie which took me 10 minutes to finally decide on above all the other sinful desserts. Ironic it may seem, but I'm not a picky-eater. And that's the problem.

Sorry if I tend to be a kan cheong spider, but I admit - I'm quite anal-retentive when it comes to work. Especially since this is a big project and I have a sub-editor's responsibility with Val under the Big Mama Karen. -evil laughter- Erkk. I usually aim for a give-and-take working relationship unless I strongly feel that something is wrong so if Ie cross the line, do not hestitate to tell me alright? But so far, so good, I hope. (:

Oh, another apology to those who attended the Stand in the Gap prayer this morning at church for the poor music and all the feedback over the PA. My fault that I woke up late and didn't have sufficient time for a proper soundcheck. Stupid guitar was not on 5 as written, but 4!! Never mind. I still woke up late and screwed up my first solo duty. Nghh.

Since no one wanted to watch the fireworks with me, I watched it at the comfort of my home from my bedroom with my mom and sis. Stupid Ngee Ann staff apartments blocked half the view, but what I could see was still splendid. And from my balcony I could see the fireworks at Jurong, though again partially blocked by a tree -__- They should hold the NDP at the Padang every year, so that I can view the fireworks from my house. Great stuff.

I thank God that Singapore has been very much safe till today. Kind of spooks me to think that we are too safe to be true, but I certainly am not complaining about this country, though of course there are much things to nitpick on. Boredom still beats chaos any day, hands up feet up.

Maybe I have never said this before, but what's there to lose I guess.
40 years of independence; onward Singapore.


Okay I think that was super corny.

Again

With all those memories shredding me up within,
I don't know which to feel more - ashamed or stupid.
Yet much as I do not want to admit it, a certain longing in my heart still exists,
and I know that all these while I've just been running on legs he has broken.

strong as i want to seem
on my weakness i cant further lean
Lord, please intervene...

Flop

MY LAPTOP IS DOWN. Alright, the keyboard is dead. But still!
MEL better gets it repaired in ONE week. Nghh.

Thank God that at least the freak accident happened now rather than when all my projects are halfway into the deadlines.

The following are all my personal thoughts on the 2005 Festival of Praise (FOP), based on my discernment, knowledge of doctrines, attitude and psychological make-up. Get all the italics.

I left the FOP after the praise part because I felt that there was no point in staying. I didn't want to do what I didn't mean. Music was terrific (Delirous AND Hillsongs), but music without myself worshipping God is no worship, to me. I wondered how many people who sang 'One Way' so loudly, that 'You're the only One that I could live for', actually lived for God alone? I myself didn't dare to try match the congregation's volume without feeling a twinge of guilt within (why, I hardly attempted to raise my volume past 10 decibels). I hope that no one who sings this has said anything like that to their girl/boyfriends before. For this song, I would change the 'could' to 'should'.

I've realised the need of doctrinally-sound songs. Worship and praise should be more than just 'love songs' to God. No more of paying 'lip service' to God for me - if I can help it.

Someone even encouraged us there and then to ask God to grant us our request instead of we asking God what we can do for Him for once. NO! God doesn't owe us a living, and NEVER, EVER will. Man, we owe Him our LIVES. We are created to worship Him, and in return He does all things for the good of the sake those who love Him. Note the italics again. It is not what WE want, but what HE wants. Yes, we do sing praises to worship Him, but worship also extends to our daily living.

I agree with what Jenn said. If there was no Delirious, no Hillsongs, yet the turnout to worship God and pray for revival would be tonight's 130% of the indoor stadium, we would be headed for a revival.

After last years', I told myself that I wouldn't be going for anymore FOPs. This time, I'll adhere to that.

Lord, I pray for the nation's Christians.

ed's note: I'm not saying that the FOP is totally wrong. I left because I didn't feel right, for that matter. And Bonk, our God is no simple God. With a congregation of 15,000 consisting of Christians and non-Christians alike, accuracy and truth is not simple in any sense of the word. Revelations 3:15-16 says, "15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Being a Christian isn't simple at all (who ever said that it'll be)! Our pursuit for God should never be limited nor passive nor lukewarm. This will aid us in standing firm in this world of sin - we may be 'in the world', but as Christians, we shouldn't be 'of the world'.

Let me be the last to wish you -

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Eve.

You've been the best friend to come along after ages.
I love you, sister. (:

I KISSED DATING GOODBYE
part I

I've just read this book, courtesy of Rose. I'll share some (mostly) excerpts and quotes here, and my personal feelings towards dating. And yes, after this book, you'll understand why I maintain my stand - that I'll only look for a husband, not a boyfriend.

Christian or not, this book still does make a lot of sense - so if you guys do even read past this paragraph, I'll be more than glad.

Don't worry - choosing to quit the dating game doesn't mean rejecting friendship with the opposite sex, companionship, romance, or marriage. We can still pursue these things; we just choose to pursue them on God's terms and in His time.

"If we truly trust in Jesus Christ, we die to our old way of living. And we can no longer live for ourselves - we live for God and for the good of others.

1 Peter 2:24 - He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

Because of that, relationships with the opposite sex can no longer be about 'having a good time' or 'learning what I want in a relationship'. They're not to be about getting, but giving. Every relationship for a Christian is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us. To lay down our desires and do what's in his or her best interest. To care for him or her even when there's nothing in it for us. To want that person's purity and holiness because it pleases God and protects him or her.

I Kissed Dating Goodbye (IKDG) is not just about sexual purity; it scrutinizes the whole course of friendship, courtship, romance, engagement, and marriage. In a chapter on what's wrong with the current approach, Harris argues that dating -

(1) leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment;

Intimacy without commitment is defrauding. Intimacy without friendship is superfical. A relationship based solely on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last only as long as the feelings last.

What Harris said made a lot of sense. He says, "We must reject the philosophy of love that holds comfort of self as its chief end, reduces love to a mere feeling, and believes that love is beyond control. According to God's Word: love seeks first the good of others, must not be measured by feelings, and is capable of being controlled responsibly."

The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment.

Intimacy without commitment thus contradicts what the Bible teaches about true love. Instead of being selfless, it's selfish. In God's plan, the personal benefits of an intimate relationship - emotional or sexual - are always closely linked to self-sacrificial love and commitment to another person's long-term good.

Intimacy without commitment, like icing without cake, can be sweet - but it ends up making us sick.

(2) tends to skip the "friendship" stage of a relationship;

Jack wanted to get to know his churchmate Libby better after a chat during a church retreat's volleyball game where they seemed to hit it off. He wasn't interested in an intense relationship, but two days after the retreat, he called her up and asked her if she'd like to go out to a movie the next weekend. She said yes.

Did he make the right move? In terms of scoring a date, yes. But see this: one-on-one dating has the tendency to move a guy and girl beyond friendship and toward romance too quickly.


Like what Harris says, I also am guilty of having the tendency to view certain guys as potential boyfriends. But recently, after going through this year's tough times, I have been rooting myself with the reminder to view them as plainly brothers-in-Christ. Plainly not in the sense that I avoid them altogether; plainly in the sense that they are there for me to love as how God loves me.

Instead of viewing myself as the centre of the universe with other people revolving around me, I should start looking for ways to bless others. The world will know that we follow Christ by the way we love others. For this reason, we must practice love as God defines it - sincere, servant-hearted and selfless - not the world's brand of selfish and sensual love based on what feels good.

(3) often mistakes a physical relationship for love;

Just because lips have met doesn't mean that hearts have joined. And just because 2 bodies are drawn to each other doesn't mean 2 people are right for each other. Most dating often isn't a pursuit of commitment, and as a result they stem from physical attraction. Even before a kiss has been given, the physical, sensual aspect of the relationship has taken priority.

Focusing on the physical is plainly sinful - God demands sexual purity, because He is holy. And it is also for our own good. Physical involvement can distort two people's perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices. And then we'll carry the memories of our past physical involvements into marriage. He doesn't want us to live with guilt and regret.

Physical involvement can make two people feel close, but if many people really examined the focus of their dating relationships, they'd probably discover that all they have in common is lust.

Harris puts my experience best into words.

"In the past, the starting point of my relationships was what I wanted instead of what God wanted. I looked out for my needs and fit others into my agenda. Did I find my fufillment? No, I found only compromise and heartache. I not only hurt others; I also hurt myself and most seriously, I sinned against God."

I have not been in many relationships. Honestly, I only have had one, but it was one which I still at the stage of growing out of my pre-pubescent hormones. Then the next 'one' which came along, though non-committal, impacted my life greatly. Even though I do wish that things would not have turned out this way, I have fully repented and regret my weakness and folly.

Almost 2 years of darkness and shame has finally made me seen the light. I had blood pouring from my wounds as I emerged from these shadows, victorious. Victorious in God.
For after a long inner struggle of refusing to let go of my desires, I have finally decided -

to kiss dating goodbye.


Part II:
(4) often isolates a couple from other vital relationships;
(5) in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future;
(6) can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness; and
(7) creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character.

Commit

i cast all my cares upon You
i lay all of my burdens
down at Your feet
everytime i don't know
what to do
i cast all my cares upon You


When we say that we commit things to God, many a time we are actually still holding on to it. How do you give this burden all up to Him?

You trust wholeheartedly in that promise, in Matthew 11:28-29.

"28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. "

Honestly, I am very scared.
I am.

Abba Father,
Please take my hand. Prepare me thoroughly for Your bidding; prepare me to stand up and speak up when the time comes. And when it arrives, let me take whatever discipline that comes along - because I deserve it.

Your grace is sufficient for me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GWENNNNN!!! (0308)

Thank you, Loves. (:

Can

someone watch the fireworks on National Day with me?

eeeeeeeeeek. XB, SLAP ME. I take that back.

Everybody, GO FOR THIS INSTEAD.


Alright I'm going to study PR now! I LOVE PR. HAHAHA.
Don't slap me, I won't take that back. :D

Enmeshed

I tried to start at 5 but I went to crash for 2 hours at 6pm.

Am.

DONE!!

1419 words in 5 hours, referencing, research and all. I have never had self-efficacy levels this high for a long time.

And I thank God so, so much.
He has been wonderful to me. (:

To all those still doing it, PRESS ON!!

I JUST REALISED THAT COMISS IS DUE TOMORROW AT 10AM, NOT 5PM !!



I better start now. No more naps. Ciao.